Table of Contents
Don’t Let Anyone Argue
Negative People One of the most noteworthy things I’ve learned is not to argue with a negative person. A negative person is likely to have very strong beliefs and won’t change that just because of what you said. Whatsoever you say, he/she can find 10 different reasons to support her point of view. Arguing will only lead to more negativity and you will sink in the process. You can make constructive comments, and if the person refutes without showing signs of backing off, don’t go any further.
Empathy With Them
Have you ever been upset around something and then someone told you to “chill out”? How did you feel? Did you relax as the person optional, or did you feel even more agitated?
From my experience, people who are bad (or upset) benefit more from an empathetic ear than suggestions/solutions on what to do. By helping them deal with their emotions, the solutions will come to them automatically (they were always inside them anyway).
Take Control Of Your Time
David Rock inscribes in Your Brain at Work: “Often we all think about what’s easy to think about instead of what’s right.”
Negative people consume so much mental energy that you don’t realize how much time you spend thinking about and complaining about their behavior and actions, even when they’re not around.
Have you ever thought about a certain conversation you had with a negative person over and over again?
Why Should He Behave Like This?
Did I do something wrong that she was so mean and negative about my idea?
They can become so emotionally involved with how they act and what they say that you let them get sucked into your productive time. By giving them control over their emotions and thought processes, you increase their power over the way you live your life.
The only way to diffuse and take back control of your time is to deny them that power by consciously watching how you spend your time.
Set Limits With Negative People
All of the strategies I’ve mentioned so far only work to a point because we all have a limit to the amount of unconstructiveness we can tolerate. If you’re not careful about how much negativity you allow into your life, it can eventually overwhelm you.
Set boundaries between what you allow and what is totally unacceptable. Be polite and courteous when letting others know when they cross these limits. Take proactive ladders to stay away from negativity by limiting contact and saying no to activities where such emotions tend to run high.
Brene Brown writes in The Gifts of Faultiness: “If we don’t set limits and hold people accountable, we feel used and abused. So sometimes we attack who they are, which is much more painful than addressing a behavior or a decision.”
One trick that has always functioned for me when trying to control my reaction to a negative person is to say, “I can’t think straight right now. We can probably get back to you later and discuss this further.” It gives me the time to craft a thoughtful response, as well as the space I need to refrain from overreacting to their behavior or saying things I later regret.
As a general rule, limit your exposure to negativity by determining your tolerance level and staying within it.
Always Be Ready To Leave A Party Around Negative People
I enjoy nice social gatherings, but when they get out of hand, usually due to too much alcohol, the energy in the room can quickly turn negative. This is a good time to make your exit. I just ask my dear wife if she is ready to go and we say goodbye.
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